Micro-fiction about fake Nazis, missing teeth, and Robert Clary.

So, a while back, a gentleman named Lee Berman put together a project called UprightDown.com. The idea was that it would be a novel that would be co-written by artists in several different fields using a variety of mediums. I contributed to this project as a writer and I have decided to post the four [...]

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Fool!

So there I am at the bar talking to Angie.

Who’s hot.

I haven’t seen Angie in years and when I last saw her, she was at her going away party with her boyfriend, Ted. This was at the close of a two year association. I had met the couple right after the break up with Julia. [...]

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Crazy People And The Dogs That Tolerate Them.

So, It is fall of last year and I’m outside my local coffee shop, smoking a cigarette, when the schizophrenic guy comes walking up. It was more of a shuffle really. He was a red headed guy who had let upkeep slide for long enough that his naturally curly hair had formed into kind of [...]

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Friend of mine sent me this link…

And it is genius.

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Baby, The Way You Talkin’ To Me Just Sends A Chill Right Through Me.

My sister hates the term White Trash. At least when it is applied to my family. Or when it is applied to the parts of my family she likes. And not for the reasons that political correctness would dictate, that is not a discussion anyone outside of college campuses actually has, especially not [...]

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Reasons You Should Stay In School. Bad Jobs Make for Good Stories.

Before we discuss anything else, a reminder: Moth Podcast, me on it, July 26th.

And yes, my Dr. Phil Strip Tease at Told went great. Thanks for asking.

Tonight I will be appearing at a show at Comix. It is my first time on the show, which is called Service Not Included. It is hosted by Justin [...]

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Totally Going To Set Myself On Fire.

The fine people at the Madagascar Institute have every intention of giving me a weapon that shoots flames wherever I point it. You should be aware that, given the current circumstances, wherever I point it is still going to be Brooklyn.

George Carlin

Growing up in Missouri, my house had a lot of knives and guns in [...]

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Hilary Swank Bad.

Levittown Minimum Security Correctional Center, visitor’s area. Afternoon.

YOU: Hey.

YOUR LAWYER: Great news!

YOU: Really?

YOUR LAWYER: We just struck a multi-million dollar deal with Universal Studios for a major motion picture based on the story of your life!

YOU: Wow! Seriously?

YOUR LAWYER: Yes! Destroyed; The Jaqueline Rose Story.

YOU: My last name is Rosen.

YOU LAWYER: Starring Hilary Swank!

YOU (taken [...]

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Some Become Villains Because They Are Masterminds Bent On World Domination. Not so much this guy though.

I'M OPEN!

I have shows coming up and I will tell you all about them. BUT, before we get there, I want to talk about how you tell a story, or in this case, how you don’t, or just knowing that you are in the process of telling a story.

I do not follow sports. I’ve [...]

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These are the minutes of our lives.

June 3rd meeting of the executive board of Online Solutions Ltd.

In attendance: John Mackey, CEO; Ed Barney, Creative Director; Steve Borrdo, Content Supervisor.

Minutes transcribed by Susan Johnson, Executive Secretary.

1:05. Mr. Mackey calls the meeting to order and directs board to first order of business. Requests update on SAT Math online resource site.

1:08. Mr. Barney presents [...]

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