Thursday

I remember my Dad's secret porn stash.

Ah, Suzanne Somers, the seventies, the crazy combination of ninja and Indiana Jones a kid would have to be in order to see this ad back in the day. Nowadays (a word that in no way sets off my spellcheck. Does that seem fucked up?) kids have it [...]

Saturday

There are some ex-girlfriends I will Never talk about.

“Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.”

- Voltaire, on his death bed, when the priest asked him to renounce Satan.

Wednesday

She cries when you litter.